The Divorced Mama Bear

It's no secret that moms have the hardest job on the planet.  Caring for the next generation takes every ounce of energy you have, and all that hard work can leave you feeling depleted at the end of the day. Taking time for yourself is incredibly important.  You can't pour from an empty cup.  But finding time for yourself when you don't have a partner to share the parenting load with can seem nearly impossible. That's what makes "me time" even more crucial for single moms.  Without allowing any time for self-care, your physical and mental health can both start to suffer.  Declining physical and mental health can lead to problems like depression, anxiety, chronic headaches and other ailments.  Eventually these problems will begin taking away time from what matters most- your children. Making time for yourself isn't selfish- it's necessary.  If you don't recharge your mind, body, and soul, you'll eventually become so burnt out that you won't

There's grief, and then there's silent grief.  Both hurt just as intensely, but one is suffered more in the darkest shadows of our soul, while the other is more openly recognized and talked about. The loss of anyone brings about an indescribable pain, and grief is the process that follows that loss.  While some of us grieve by crying, talking, and honoring our loved one who passed, others grieve silently. I think that silent grief is more common when you've lost someone to suicide, because we simply don't know how to talk about it.  Those who are grieving don't understand why it happened and often blame themselves for not doing something to stop it--even though they know deep down there was nothing they could do.  The ones watching us grieve don't really know the right thing to say.  What do you say to someone who just lost their loved one in such a sudden and sad way? All deaths are sad, but knowing that someone was in such deep despair that they would take the

I recently read a heartbreaking story about a woman who was murdered by a man she met on a dating app, and it made me stop and think about how safe dating apps actually are. While it certainly seems to be the way to meet people nowadays, there are some pretty important steps that should be followed in order to avoid finding yourself in a potentially dangerous situation. Don't ignore the red flags. Listen to your gut.  If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.  No one is perfect, and there will undoubtedly be some differences between you and the man you're talking to online, but if you find yourself making excuses for his behavior and chalking it up to him "just being excited" or thinking "maybe he'll be normal in person", think twice about the excuses  you're making for him and whether or not they are actually valid. If he's pushy on the phone, it's going to be even worse in person. Everyone is on their best behavior when yo

I started getting migraines when I was 15.  They were bad enough to make me hole up in my bedroom for the day, but they were manageable.  These "normal" migraines continued until I was 25....then I had my son and everything changed. I was okay after I first delivered him, but when he was a few months old, I started noticing I was having trouble driving.  I'd get dizzy on winding roads (we lived in the country at the time), and sometimes I'd have to pull over to sit for a few minutes until the spinning stopped. I mentioned it to my doctor and he said I probably had BPPV (benign paroxysmal positional vertigo), which is when small calcium crystals kind of float around in your inner ear and make you dizzy.  He gave me a prescription for meclizine and sent me on my way. I tried this for awhile, but it wasn't really helping.  Being a busy mom with a little one at home, I just dealt with it for awhile.  That was until one morning when everything changed. My son was about

Oh, dating apps.  Tinder, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, Bumble, Facebook Dating... the list goes on.  In a world where mask-wearing is the norm and meeting someone at a bar or the grocery store is practically impossible because of social distancing, dating apps have become the go-to way to find a date. Before you create your profile, be prepared to find one- or all- of these types of guys on the app. 1.  The Creeper He slides into your DM's with a subtle "hey" at first.  When you don't respond, he messages you again two days later.  This time he's more forceful and poses a question, such as, "How's it going?" or "Any exciting plans for the weekend?".  When you still don't respond, he really starts turning into a creeper and blows up your DM's with random, pointless, even downright rude comments until you finally block him.  Phew...dodged a bullet with that one. 2.  The Too-Nice Guy This is the guy who has a serious case of low-self estee

Marriage is all about being a team and putting your partner's needs before your own. For better or worse, you're making a vow to love, honor, and cherish your spouse for life. Divorce ends all that. You no longer have to put another person first (except for your children), and it leaves you with both a feeling of freedom and uncertainty. It kind of feels wrong. You've spent your entire marriage planning on being in a partnership for the rest of your life and now you're flying solo. At first, you might feel a little guilty doing things that you never would have done if you were still married. It feels foreign, and that's normal. This is your time to do what YOU want to do. You don't, quite frankly, have to answer to anyone. Not everyone is going to like the choices you make, but guess what...it's your life. You don't owe anyone anything. Until you make a commitment to someone again, you are free to do whatever you want, whenever you want. Not