The Divorced Mama Bear

Can people really change? If you had asked me that question a year ago, I would have said absolutely not. That's why I got a divorce- because I thought things would never change. My mindset has completely shifted on this topic recently because of the own changes I've made in my life. I saw that I, myself, could change...so if I can do it, anyone can do it. The trick is, though, you have to want to change. No one can do the changing for you. And once you want it, you have to keep wanting it, because you will constantly have to check yourself to ensure you're not going back to your old ways. It gets easier with time. As you adopt those changes and apply them daily, your new way of doing things starts overtaking the old ways. But there are still going to be times when challenges pop up and you have to stay committed to acting in a way that aligns with the positive changes you've made in your life. It's been drilled into us that people don't change. Who you are is w...

I recently read a heartbreaking story about a woman who was murdered by a man she met on a dating app, and it made me stop and think about how safe dating apps actually are. While it certainly seems to be the way to meet people nowadays, there are some pretty important steps that should be followed in order to avoid finding yourself in a potentially dangerous situation. Don't ignore the red flags. Listen to your gut.  If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.  No one is perfect, and there will undoubtedly be some differences between you and the man you're talking to online, but if you find yourself making excuses for his behavior and chalking it up to him "just being excited" or thinking "maybe he'll be normal in person", think twice about the excuses  you're making for him and whether or not they are actually valid. If he's pushy on the phone, it's going to be even worse in person. Everyone is on their best behavior when yo...

Oh, dating apps.  Tinder, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, Bumble, Facebook Dating... the list goes on.  In a world where mask-wearing is the norm and meeting someone at a bar or the grocery store is practically impossible because of social distancing, dating apps have become the go-to way to find a date. Before you create your profile, be prepared to find one- or all- of these types of guys on the app. 1.  The Creeper He slides into your DM's with a subtle "hey" at first.  When you don't respond, he messages you again two days later.  This time he's more forceful and poses a question, such as, "How's it going?" or "Any exciting plans for the weekend?".  When you still don't respond, he really starts turning into a creeper and blows up your DM's with random, pointless, even downright rude comments until you finally block him.  Phew...dodged a bullet with that one. 2.  The Too-Nice Guy This is the guy who has a serious case of low-self estee...

Marriage is all about being a team and putting your partner's needs before your own. For better or worse, you're making a vow to love, honor, and cherish your spouse for life. Divorce ends all that. You no longer have to put another person first (except for your children), and it leaves you with both a feeling of freedom and uncertainty. It kind of feels wrong. You've spent your entire marriage planning on being in a partnership for the rest of your life and now you're flying solo. At first, you might feel a little guilty doing things that you never would have done if you were still married. It feels foreign, and that's normal. This is your time to do what YOU want to do. You don't, quite frankly, have to answer to anyone. Not everyone is going to like the choices you make, but guess what...it's your life. You don't owe anyone anything. Until you make a commitment to someone again, you are free to do whatever you want, whenever you want. Not ...