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The Silent Grief After A Suicide

There's grief, and then there's silent grief.  Both hurt just as intensely, but one is suffered more in the darkest shadows of our soul, while the other is more openly recognized and talked about.
The loss of anyone brings about an indescribable pain, and grief is the process that follows that loss.  While some of us grieve by crying, talking, and honoring our loved one who passed, others grieve silently.
I think that silent grief is more common when you've lost someone to suicide, because we simply don't know how to talk about it.  Those who are grieving don't understand why it happened and often blame themselves for not doing something to stop it--even though they know deep down there was nothing they could do.  The ones watching us grieve don't really know the right thing to say.  What do you say to someone who just lost their loved one in such a sudden and sad way?
All deaths are sad, but knowing that someone was in such deep despair that they would take their…
Recent posts

To All The Parents Nervous About The New School Year

'Tis the season for backpacks, first-day-of-school pictures, and anxious parents putting their kids on the bus for the first time in months.While those factors are still in play for many of us, this school year looks entirely different from the ones we have experienced before.What was frozen in time back in March when this all began has now started to thaw, and the uncertainty of it all can make even the calmest, most-veteran parents nervous.Parents whose children are participating in in-person learning are laying outfits and backpacks out, alongside masks and hand sanitizer.  Parents who chose remote learning are wondering how they will keep their children socially and academically engaged throughout the school year, and are worried if this next year will permanently change how their child learns and socializes.When someone says that this is what we signed up for when we became parents, they are completely wrong.  Yes, we signed up for tummy aches and broken hearts and making the…

What I Want Women To Know About Staying Safe On Dating Apps

I recently read a heartbreaking story about a woman who was murdered by a man she met on a dating app, and it made me stop and think about a situation that I was in recently that could have ended very badly.  While I don't want to go into details for privacy reasons, I do want to share some things that I have learned about staying safe when using dating apps in hopes that it helps another woman avoid the situation that I found myself in, and of course, something even worse.Don't ignore the red flags.Listen to your gut.  If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.  No one is perfect, and there will undoubtedly be some differences between you and the man you're talking to online, but if you find yourself making excuses for his behavior and chalking it up to him "just being excited" or thinking "maybe he'll be normal in person", think twice about the excuses  you're making for him and whether or not they are actually valid.
If he'…

I Suffered From Debilitating Migraines...Here's What Helped

I started getting migraines when I was 15.  They were bad enough to make me hole up in my bedroom for the day, but they were manageable.  These "normal" migraines continued until I was 25....then I had my son and everything changed.I was okay after I first delivered him, but when he was a few months old, I started noticing I was having trouble driving.  I'd get dizzy on winding roads (we lived in the country at the time), and sometimes I'd have to pull over to sit for a few minutes until the spinning stopped.I mentioned it to my doctor and he said I probably had BPPV (benign paroxysmal positional vertigo), which is when small calcium crystals kind of float around in your inner ear and make you dizzy.  He gave me a prescription for meclizine and sent me on my way.I tried this for awhile, but it wasn't really helping.  Being a busy mom with a little one at home, I just dealt with it for awhile.  That was until one morning when everything changed.My son was about on…

When You Struggle To Close The Door

I've always been envious of the people that can end a relationship and just move on.  You know the ones who realize that since it didn't work out the first time, it's not going to work out the second...or third...or fourth.I am not one of those people.  In fact, I'm the exact opposite.  I give way too many chances.  I beat that horse til it's really, really good and dead.  I've tried changing this part of myself, but it's not easy.So why exactly is it so difficult to close the door on a romantic or non-romantic relationship?  For me, I think I watched too many fairytales growing up and I keep expecting my Prince Charming to change his ways and allow us to live happily ever after (kidding...well, maybe).  But in all seriousness, I think it's difficult because I try to see the good in a situation, even when it's not there.I also find it really hard to invest time in something, only to have it go nowhere.  I'm a go-getter and I like to win, so when…

The Ultimate Remote Learning Back-To-School Supply List

Like many parents, I was faced with the tough decision of whether or not to send my child back for in-person classes this fall or participate in remote learning.  I've decided to do the 100% remote learning option with the school district since I am able to work from home.  I know not every parent has this option, and I truly feel for the ones that don't.
Now that I'm preparing to do remote learning for the 2020-2021 school year, I'm gathering some supplies and looking to designate a spot in my home for school activities.  I thought it would be helpful to share some of the products I'm purchasing to make my home more conducive to learning.
So here it is, my ultimate remote learning back-to-school supply list.
Gaiam Kids Stay-N-Play Balance BallMy son has a hard time staying focused for extended periods of time, so I thought this balance ball was the perfect solution to help get the wiggles out while he works.  It also promotes good posture and helps build a strong cor…

I Don't Want My Divorce To Harden My Heart

If you ask any of my friends to describe me, the first word they will likely say is compassionate.  I've always been one to love with all my heart, and to leap before I look.  I don't think about the consequences of loving someone, because I believe that a broken heart is worth it.
Or I used to believe it, anyway.  Lately, I've had a really hard time opening my heart up to new relationships.  I may physically and mentally be in the relationship, but emotionally, I'm somewhere else.
This has caused me to lose a few potentially good matches because I just wasn't able to open up and trust like I needed to.  I'm worried that my divorce has hardened my heart to a point where it's irreparable.
Maybe that statement is a little dramatic, but sometimes I really feel that way.  Like I'm never going to be able to fully love someone again because I've been hurt so deeply.
That the cracks in my heart are so wide, that no matter how much love is poured into them by a…